SWD EP 4
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Welcome back to another episode of the she who does podcast. I'm your host, Krista Wilson. Today's going to be a bit of a spicy episode. I actually was recently interviewed on somebody else's podcast, and we had a really awesome chat about a wide range of things. One of the topics that we actually fell into was.
Things in the coaching industry that I don't agree with. And I was like, this is such a great topic. And it's something that I often see things often that I'm like, not my vibe. And so I thought I would actually speak to some of the things that I see in the coaching industry, that as a coach and somebody who's been in this industry since.
You know, late 2018, I just don't vibe with, I don't agree with, and I have a different way of being and showing up and a different thought [00:03:00] process to a lot of the like , bullshit rhetoric that is Portrayed by other coaches. And so this actually might end up being a little bit of a series.
Cause I feel like when I started to like, think about, okay, what are the things that I like call absolute bullshit on in the coaching industry? I had quite a big list. So I think we'll start with a couple and it will roll into what it's going to be, which probably like two or three parts series. Now, before I get into like the things that I called bullshit on in the coaching industry, I want to first.
Set the stage. And that is by letting you guys know that I wholeheartedly, like deeply love, believe in coaching and mentorship. Before I even became a coach, I worked with many coaches. I had many mentors. Coaching as an industry is something that I really believe in, and I guess that's why I'm passionate about a lot of the bullshit that I see in our industry, because I really believe in this.
I [00:04:00] know the impact that coaching and mentorship has had on my life personally. And also being a coach and mentor to many women, I've also seen the impact that it's had on so many of my clients and students lives as well. And so I'm passionate about educating on the bullshit that I see, and also really passionate about teaching my business mentor clients, the right way to be a coach.
And when I say that it's not about my way, I just think it's about being. It's about having the client's needs first and foremost, being trauma informed, not using a lot of manipulation and just a lot of the stuff that I see in the industry that I'm just like, you icky. And also I want to say that. You know, through my journey of being a coach and a mentor and working in the online space, I've not always gotten it right.
Like, there have been many things that I have done that in [00:05:00] hindsight, I look back at and I cringe, right? There have been many things that I've seen other coaches. Do that. I've like, Oh, I'll try that. And I've tried it and been like, this doesn't align. This doesn't feel good for me. I don't like that way of doing sales.
I don't like that way of marketing myself. So I'm not shitting on anyone who's doing these things, but I hope by doing an episode on this and speaking to these things, that it helps you. If you're a coach or a service provider, or a woman in service based business, that you can start to use your own discernment and And really tap into what feels good and right for you, because just because everyone else is doing, it doesn't mean it's the right way to do it.
And something that I really speak to with my own business, mental clients is really teaching women in business to find their right way and what feels good and right for them. So even though I'm going to be going through maybe two or three [00:06:00] things that I absolutely call bullshit on in the coaching industry.
I want you to know, I love this industry. I'm really passionate about it and the impact that I believe in coaching. I believe in mentorship for myself and the work that I do. And also I've made lots of fucking mistakes. I've probably done some of the things that I now speak to that I call bullshit. And I've said some of the things that now I would never say because we're always growing.
We're always becoming more powerful. We're always becoming our best selves. And so I've made lots of fuck ups along the way. So. If you're doing some of these things or you're believing some of these things, or you're speaking to some of these things that I call bullshit on, this might be a great opportunity just to check in.
It's like, do I actually believe this? Is this actually how I want to run my business? Because I think when we're beginning as well in our businesses, and I'm definitely guilty of this is, you know, we just kind of see like everyone doing it. And then we just kind of do it as well. And so often we don't check in and [00:07:00] ask ourselves, hold on just because she's doing it and she's super successful, like, doesn't mean that that's the way that I need to do it.
And I really want to encourage women to find their way of running and doing their business. Versus just like doing what everyone else is doing because a lot of it's fucking bullshit. And a lot of it's out of alignment. I know for me, a lot of it's out of alignment, a lot of it, I don't believe it. So let's get into it.
I've got some notes here on my phone and I was like, what do I call bullshit on? So the first thing that I see a lot of business coaches, coaches, Say and speak to when they're coaching other coaches is that you don't need to learn any skills. Like you don't need a certification. You don't need to be accredited.
You don't need to learn how to be a coach. You don't need to learn. Methodologies. You don't need to learn coaching practices. Like you don't need to go and do a course to learn how to be a coach. Like anyone [00:08:00] can just be a coach. You can just use your life experience. And I just, so like every time I see another coach say this bullshit to people, I just cringe, cringe, cringe.
Because I just believe the complete opposite. I believe that if you are going to work with human beings in a coaching capacity, when you're working with mindset, you're working with emotions, you're working with belief systems, you're working with trauma, you're working with, complex relationships, you're working with women who have businesses, then yes, you absolutely should be constantly working on yourself to gain new , skills to become.
Great at what you do so that you have different processes. You have different methodologies. You have different tools in your tool kit as a coach to be able to help the person sitting in front of you. And if you're not able. To do the work that your client needs you to [00:09:00] do. If you don't have those processes, you don't have those methodologies.
If you don't have , the knowledge and skills to be able to help the person, then you should refer them out. . And so I feel like when we say to like baby coaches or like new coaches in the industry, you don't need to go and learn how to be a coach. Like you just need to learn how to build your business.
I just think this is. Part of the reason that there is now this like oversaturation in the coaching industry of like the lowest standard of coaching. . And so I'm really passionate about coaching. I'm really passionate about my education and I believe and encourage people to absolutely go and learn.
We do courses about mindset, do courses about counseling, do courses about that, where you learn about different processes, methodologies and ways that you can actually impact people. You should absolutely be doing that. If you want to be great, go and do that, ? If you want to be good and average then don't go and get accredited.
Don't go and do courses. So I really [00:10:00] believe in Learning and education so that I'm always growing. My education is always getting wider and deeper. My capacity is always growing and getting wider and deeper. And I'm always learning and upgrading my skills and not just upgrading my skills and how to build and scale my business.
I'm more passionate about upgrading my skills as being a great fucking coach. And so I feel like when you say to people, you don't need that. Like you can just use your life experiences, and you can be a great coach. Like, I just think it's doing our clients a disservice. It's doing the industry a disservice and it's doing that coach that's saying, Oh, okay, well I don't need to learn anything.
I can just like talk about my life experience. No, that's not enough. And it's not good enough, especially if you want to make a really big fucking impact in the lives of other people. I don't, for me, that's my highest value in business. So furthering my education and being a student for life. And always up [00:11:00] leveling my skills so I can keep getting better and better and better and better at coaching and having a wider capacity and knowing that I have many tools in my toolkit to be able to help somebody have that big breakthrough in their mindset, emotions, limiting beliefs that to me has helped me to build my confidence like I've a lot.
Thank you. I've been doing coaching now since 2018, the first course that I did was my prac level neuro linguistic programming. And then I did my master. I've done hypnosis as well. I've done EFT tapping courses. I've done meditation courses. I mean, I've done so many different things, right? I've done coaching courses, so I've done lots of different courses, not because I didn't feel like I couldn't be a coach without them.
I always knew I had that skill within me, but all of those things gave me so many tools and methodologies so that I can make a bigger, lasting impact in my clients lives. And it's all about. Also helps [00:12:00] me to build confidence in myself as a coach and a mentor as well. Because listen, , I always say this to my clients is the clients that have been my hardest clients, the clients that have like being the ones that have the secondary game that , they've paid for the coaching.
They're showing up, but they are so. Wanting to let go of their victim story and their old beliefs and the things that have happened to them. I've had some really tough clients and those clients have made me , a great fucking coach, right? And because I've I've done courses and I've got certificates and I've learned many different methodologies and ways of impacting people.
It means that I have had the tools to be able to have someone sit in front of me. Who's the hardest person, right? They're just not the hardest person, but they just really, There's so much resistance to letting go of their stuff that I have been able to dip into my toolkit and [00:13:00] actually help that person.
And those, clients have been my, greatest, oh my God, like my hardest client. I remember once I had a client and we're working on a belief system around, I'm not good enough. And I was using a timeline therapy. This client is the 1st, , we've done a lot of the emotions and we're now working on her belief systems and I'll never forget this session. My sessions go for an hour and this particular session, like, she had so much secondary gain, so much resistance. And like so little belief, but I knew that I could help her. Like I knew that we could have this breakthrough. I knew that I could help shift her mindset because of all the courses and training that I had done.
And this particular session, we went for three hours. Three hours. I use different refrains and different tools and methodologies to help her have this one breakthrough on this belief, which she was not good enough. And [00:14:00] that belief was driving so many toxic behaviors in her life that was so out of alignment with her value system.
And so I just really knew that if I could get her to have this breakthrough, that this would change her life. We spent three hours in this session. Session and it was not easy to me. And she was tired and she didn't want to let it go. And it was going to be easier for her to stay in her victim hood. But I was like, absolutely not.
I'm not giving up on you. Let's go keep going. And we got the result. Now this was when I probably my first year of being a coach. Now I've not had that happen since because that session taught me how to be a great fucking coach. And that session also, and those methodologies that I used for it. Also taught me what I need to do.
So if I hadn't done my accreditation, if I hadn't done my courses, if I haven't learned these methodologies, I would not be the coach that I am now in saying that I also want to make a really big point is I don't believe the methodologies make me a great coach. [00:15:00] They make me a greater coach, my life experiences, who I am, everything I've been through, everything I've overcome has absolutely built the foundation of For the work I do and how I show up and the impact I'm able to make.
But the two go hand in hand, right? Just because you've overcome trauma, or just because you've gone through a lot of things that doesn't mean you are going to be a great coach. It's giving you a lot of great feedback. Fuel right, but going to those courses, getting those accreditations, getting those certificates, learning how to work with people, learning how to work with a range of people and getting those tools and methodologies in your toolkit is what makes you great.
And so that bullshit saying that I see often in the coaching industry is you don't need any of that. You can start coaching today. You can start coaching today, right? But you should be wanting to become great. You should be wanting to learn. You should be wanting to learn. Learn as many tools as you can to be able to [00:16:00] make the greatest impact in people's life.
If you really give a shit about fucking coaching and mentoring and this industry, then you should be learning how to be a great coach, which actually has nothing to do with scaling your business, getting business coaching and learning how to be a great coach at two separate things, both needed. But I see a lot of people skipping the learning how to be a great fucking coach and going straight to trying to scale their business and then leaving a, like, debris of all these people that feel like they didn't get what they were meant to get out of that experience.
So, yeah, that's my first thing I friggin hate. I call bullshit on in the coaching industry. Now, in saying that, I just want to touch on this as well. Something that I often see, like the flip side of this, something that I often see with my business mentor clients and just women in the industry.
Is they go too hard on the certificates, too hard on the courses, too hard on the methodologies. What I mean by this is [00:17:00] it's like, there is this deep wound of like, I'm not good enough. I'm not ready. And before I can work with anyone, build my business, take on a client, even ask somebody work with me.
I need 55, 000 certifications underneath my belt. And so it's a fine line between the two. Because if I see that in my client where it's like they're always jumping from one certification to the next certification to the next certification, I see this also as a red flag that they are avoiding actually working with people and they have created an unconscious belief system that like, I'm not ready.
I don't have enough. I'm not good enough. And so they keep jumping from course to course, to course, to course, to learn this modality, to learn this technique, to learn this coaching certification, this way work with people, but they don't actually work with anyone. And they're just jumping from certification to certification.
So. To me, there's a fine line between two, it's like, you should be [00:18:00] furthering your education and becoming the best coach that you can be. But also if you're doing that as a way of avoiding actually coaching people, then we need to look at that as well. We want to do both at the same time. So that's my first thing that I call absolute bullshit on.
In the coaching industry. The second thing that I'm going to talk about today is this bullshit rhetoric that you cannot charge high tickets for your work unless you've invested high ticket for your work. Like even just that whole thing, it feels so manipulative and I just, it's this bullshit rhetoric.
That's constantly spewed in this industry. And I feel like , it's said in a way to manipulate people to invest in high ticket coaching and I'm not about it because I feel like context is really important because right now in my life. I'm going through IVF and IVF is a really [00:19:00] big expense in my life. And so I'm not in a period of my coaching business where I'm not in a period in my coaching business where I'm actually investing a lot of money.
If anything, I have actually scaled back my investments because I have another really big investment in my life, which is IVF. And so when other coaches say to potential clients that, you know, when you invest high ticket, then you can charge high ticket, or when you invest high ticket, then you can earn more revenue in your business.
It's just such bullshit. It's this coaching rhetoric that I just am not here for. And I feel like when it's used, it's used in a way to manipulate that potential client to go and spend a heap of money. And I have high ticket offers. So it's not about being against high ticket offers. I don't even like that language, like high ticket offers.
I have offers that are of a higher [00:20:00] value, therefore a higher cost. But. I don't have to be investing at that level in my business right now to be able to charge that. Like who created this bullshit? It's like such bullshit. And also I want you to use your discernment. If you're on a sales call or you're potentially looking at working with a coach and part of their, like, Sales pitch is, well, you know, investing this 10 grand with me means that now you can charge 10 grand for your work.
Like what a crock of shit. And this is the kind of shit that gives a coaching industry, an industry I'm so passionate about, a bad fucking rap. And I'm not here for it. So that to me is a major red flag. I do not agree with it. I feel like there is a time and a place for making large investments in your business.
There's a time and a place for high ticket coaching offers, and it's not about there being something wrong with paying 10, 20, 30, 50, 000 for coaching that there's nothing wrong with that. [00:21:00] If the value in the work is there, and it's going to impact you and it's going to move the dial in your business.
But something that I do not believe in is that you have to spend that money to make that money, that you have to spend that money to be able to charge that money. What a crock of shit. I'm calling BS on that one in the coaching industry. The third and final. Thing that I'm calling BS on in the coaching industry today is something that I'm so frigging passionate about.
You may have heard me speak about it before is when coaches. Use this bullshit rhetoric, this blah, blah, blah, blah, blah around saying to women, charge your worth, charge your worth, charge your worth. What the fuck does that mean? And why I have a problem with this and why I call bullshit on this is that I just feel like, again, it's something that coaches say.
To justify their own absorbent prices, right? [00:22:00] Or it's something that is said to other coaches to increase their prices, whatever. And so the reason I don't like this. Is that I wholeheartedly believe that most women, what I have seen in the work that I do, most women struggle with self worth. And so when we say to women, charge your worth, charge your worth, charge your worth.
We are setting women up to fail because I actually, what I teach and what I want you to take away from this is I want you to create separation between your worth and your business. And I speak from my own experiences that the first business that I built, my work was so entangled and ingrained in my success in my business.
When I was not having the same level of success because business is not linear, it's up, down, it's all over the place. [00:23:00] I would just crumble. Do you know what I mean? It would impact my mental and emotional health. My confidence so much because my work was tied up in my success. And so I like to teach my clients to create separation, right?
Your business isn't your baby. It's a business. Your personal work as a woman has absolutely nothing to do with the prices that you charge. Absolutely fucking nothing to do with it. In fact, I want you to charge what your work is worth. That's what I say. Charge what your work is worth. And there's a few reasons that I say this is that what is the worth of the work, the impact of the work that should be where we're talking about pricing and how much you should charge.
So I see two things happen in the industry. Women charging really, Really low prices, like really like too low. And that shows me that there's a worthy issue. Okay. They're not charging what their work is worth because they've tied their work to their work and they're charging low, low prices [00:24:00] because they haven't built their self worth yet.
And then the opposite end of that is women are being told to charge their worth and they haven't built their worth up and then they're charging prices that they cannot energetically get behind. There's got to be some kind of believability scale where you build your prices up to the worth of the work that you offer, the impact of the work that you offer.
And so there's a lot of women charging prices that they can't get behind. They don't believe they're worthy of that because people are out there telling them to charge their worth. And so your work as a woman has absolutely nothing to do with your fucking business or what you charge people, right? It's just such bullshit, such bullshit.
It's bullshit. I call bullshit. It's this bullshit rhetoric in the coaching industry. So I want you to build. Your relationship with yourself so that you know that you are unlimited and you are worthy and all those things, but what you charge should have nothing to do with your personal work as a woman.
Your work as a woman is [00:25:00] unlimited, but you should be looking at what is the worth of the work that I do, the impact of the work that I do. And that's how you should price your offerings. Not your own personal worth. Like what the hell. Anyway, they're my three things. , this is a starting series. I can feel it.
I feel like there's going to be a part two or part three, part four, who knows, but these are things that I see in the coaching industry that I call bullshit on. I do not agree with. And. Yeah, I do not agree with that. So I'm not sure what your thoughts and feelings are, but these are things that I just got a role cringe.
And as I said at the beginning of this episode, I have been in the coaching industry since 2018 officially is when I launched she who does coaching. However, before that, in my first business, I had a really big team of 7, 000 people globally. I did a lot of coaching. So I've been in the coaching, educating, training.
Mentoring space for the better half of a decade. [00:26:00] And so this is an industry that I'm really passionate about. This work is I'm really passionate about it. I believe in coaching. I believe in mentorship. It's something I've invested in myself and it's had a huge impact in my life. It's something that I now do with other women all over the world.
And I've seen the impact. That this work has on people. So I'm really passionate about it. But in saying that there was a time when I made lots of mistakes and I'm going to make lots of mistakes. When I look back in hindsight at some of the things I've done, I've said how I've showed up, I cringe now. You know, in that hindsight of looking back, because I'm a human being, I'm always growing, right?
I'm always expanding. And so there's plenty of things that I have said and done as a coach, as a woman in business that I look back at and go, that Is something that I would probably cringe at now and call bullshit on in the coaching industry. So as long as we're able to look back and grow, and I think use our [00:27:00] discernment and laugh at ourselves.
So this episode is not meant to shit on anyone, upset anyone. It's just what I see. And it's more about education because I feel like a lot of the women that I work with. Want to either have service based businesses, want to serve people, want to make an impact. They know they're here for something big and great.
And so by educating on these in this fun way, saying bullshit things I see in the coaching industry, I hope that it allows you to find your North star, your truth, your anchor about how you want to build your business, how you want to show up in this industry much sooner. Then what it did for me, because no one was really talking about this when I first started, it was all like, everyone was just doing the same thing, figuring shit out and doing the best that we could do with the tools and resources that we had.
Thank you so much for tuning in. If you love this episode, you had a laugh with me sliding to my dams, let me know and give us a rating on the podcast. I would so appreciate that. [00:28:00] Have the best day. [00:29:00]
