riverside_krystal__ dec 6, 2024 001_krystal_ wilson's s
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[00:02:02] Welcome back to another episode of the she who does podcast. Thank you so much for joining me. Thank you so much to everyone. Who's been listening every week. I love receiving your messages and your emails and learning like what you loved about each episode or what was your biggest aha or little breakthroughs you guys are having.
[00:02:24] To me, that is like the best thing ever, because I just love receiving, you know, your insights and feedback and all the wonderful things that you're taking away. Thus far only five episodes into the she who does podcast, this is officially episode five, and I wanted to like change things up a little bit.
[00:02:43] So. For those of you who kind of like follow me on social media and have been in the she who dares world for a really long time, you would know that the main thing that I'm known for is actually breakthrough coaching, which is a specialized [00:03:00] type of coaching that I'm trained in, that I've worked with hundreds of women all over the world, helping them to have these big, profound, life changing breakthroughs.
[00:03:09] So bulk of the work that I do is private one on one coaching and mentorship. And whenever I do these sessions and I always have like so many sessions every week where I'm doing breakthrough coaching, whenever I have these sessions, so much wisdom, like so many, like, Oh my God, amazing bits of like coaching and wisdom and aha's breakthroughs happen.
[00:03:31] And. In these sessions. And so what I've been doing is like kind of taking note of little things that come up consistently for my clients. And then the coaching mentorship that I give them in the breakthrough coaching space that we're working together in. And writing them down and taking notes, because I want to start like a little bit of a series in the she today's podcast, where I share with you some of the real common mindset tips, tricks.
[00:03:59] Hacks [00:04:00] that I actually teach a lot of my breakthrough clients. So you're getting a little bit of a peek behind the curtain. And I'm going to share with you some of the things in the last kind of week or two that have come up in my sessions. And I'm like, this is gold. And I want to share this with the She Who Dares podcast listeners.
[00:04:16] So. So I've got some notes on my phone. Let's get into it. So something that I always say to my private breakthrough clients and even my business mentor clients is if you give your negative thought an inch, it will take a mile. Now, what I mean by this is that. The minute we become consciously aware of a negative or disempowering or limiting thought that we are having about ourselves, our capabilities, our business, whatever it is, the minute we allow that thought to take one inch It then will take a mile.
[00:04:56] Now, what I mean by mile is like, that means that you could [00:05:00] be, that one thought could spiral into days, weeks, months of like negativity and making decisions from a place. So if you allow your negative thoughts to take an inch, it will take a mile. And so what I teach my clients to do.
[00:05:18] is to really become aware. The first step in any kind of transformational healing journey is awareness. We must become aware of what is not serving us, the thoughts we're having, the patterns we have, the behaviors we have, the beliefs we have. The way in which we make decisions in our businesses, we must become aware of what doesn't serve us and the same with our negative thoughts.
[00:05:42] And this is really like step one for a lot of people. Like if you really want to create shift and change in your life, you first have to become aware of like, what are you thinking? And start with, what do I think about myself? What are the disempowering, negative, limiting thoughts that I have about myself?[00:06:00]
[00:06:00] We want to become consciously aware of what we're thinking. And this first step of becoming consciously aware of what we're thinking can actually feel like really difficult. I remember my own journey, you know, God, many, many, many, many years ago, like over a decade ago, 12 years ago, I had really toxic and negative.
[00:06:22] Relationship with myself. What I thought about myself was really negative and limiting and disempowering. And I wasn't even aware of the negative thoughts that I thought they were so fast and so intense and so deeply ingrained in my way of thinking and being and speaking that I couldn't even catch them, if that makes sense.
[00:06:44] So when I was at the very beginning of my healing journey, if somebody had said to me, Like I want you to become consciously aware of your thoughts. That first step it did feel really difficult. It because I was just so used to thinking negatively [00:07:00] about myself that I wasn't even consciously aware of it.
[00:07:03] And it makes sense. Cause you kind of like, you might relate to this where it's, you kind of get to the end of the day. And you're just like, why do I feel like shit? Like, why does everything feel so heavy and hard? It's like, well, you've been beating yourself up all day. That's why So the first step is becoming consciously aware of your thoughts.
[00:07:17] Once you become consciously aware of your thoughts, then You can start to catch them, ? Like witness them, see the things that you're thinking that are out of alignment, limiting, disempowering, negative. Because once you have that thought, if you don't catch it, , and you allow that thought to take an inch, once it takes an inch, it's going to take a mile.
[00:07:44] And your mile could be a day feeling like shit, a week feeling like shit, a month feeling like shit, Years feeling like shit, ? And so we want to become aware of what we're thinking. And then why this is important as well, is that if you allow your negative limiting, [00:08:00] disempowering thought to take an inch, it'll take a mile.
[00:08:03] Once you allow that thought to take an inch and then it takes a mile, what usually happens, what I see a lot from my clients is they start to compound. So it's like, I'll give you an example of what this can look like.
[00:08:17] We wake up, right? We wake up, it's Monday morning and you wake up and you are feeling sad. Okay. You're feeling sad. You're just feeling a lot of heavy emotion. And. What your mind will start to do is kind of beat you up, right? You'll beat yourself up for feeling whatever it is that you're feeling that doesn't feel good.
[00:08:37] It's like, I feel like shit. Why do I feel sad? What I mean by compounding is we start to look for evidence reasons why we are feeling what we're feeling. Why am I feeling sad? And whatever you look for, you're going to find. So we start to compound, we look for this, we look for that, we're collecting evidence.
[00:08:53] And before you know it, you've spent all day. Finding all the reasons why you're sad, why your life is shit, [00:09:00] why this is failing, why that's failing, why this blah, blah, blah. You've compounded, you've compounded all the evidence you have in your life as to why you feel a certain way. And this is when you can start to spiral.
[00:09:11] I also use a lot of language with my clients of like, it can feel like you're in a dark pit, the lights are off and you're like searching to get out of it and you can't get out of it, right? So this is why I teach my clients to become consciously aware of what you're thinking because you are in control of how you think, how you feel, how you react, how you respond.
[00:09:33] You may not currently, wherever you are in your life. Feel that you're fully in control of those things, but you are. And when I work with like a breakthrough client, we build that up. So a lot of women who start with me don't feel in control of how they think, feel, react, and respond. But by the end of breakthrough, they are fully in control of those things.
[00:09:53] And so when we become consciously aware of our thoughts. And we start to [00:10:00] realize, Oh my God, I'm thinking really negative, limiting, disempowering things about myself. Like I'm thinking this repetitive thought, I'm constantly beating myself up. I'm constantly feeling like it's not good enough, whatever it is that you're thinking that's limiting you, disempowering you and creating negativity within you, right?
[00:10:17] You want to become consciously aware of it because once you're consciously aware of it, You then have the power to start to change that thought, start to challenge that thought. And we want to create some spaciousness. Like it's like we have a negative thought and rather than just believing it and compounding and allowing that thought to take its mile and just compound and get deeper and deeper and deeper and grand.
[00:10:42] And before you know it, you're just You know, your three weeks into this spiral, you want to stop. We want to become aware. I'm thinking something that makes me feel like shit about myself, so rather than thinking that's bad? I'm wrong for thinking that we want to go to a place of exploring.
[00:10:59] [00:11:00] Right. So this is something I also teach my clients. It's like, rather than you can go to your victim hood, which is like, I'm shit, why am I shit? I'm feeling like this beating yourself up, or you can actually start to create some separation between you and the negative thought and know that this negative thought is not who you are.
[00:11:17] It's just an accumulation of like the things that have happened, your belief systems and all the stuff that you're probably working towards releasing, letting go and healing. And. So rather than compounding and beating yourself up about having that thought, what we want to do is create some spaciousness and from between you and that thought and know that that thought is not who you are and then explore why, okay.
[00:11:43] And so exploring why from a place of empowerment. So why am I feeling sadness today? Okay. When you really ask that question from a place of empowerment, like your intuition knows, like, you know, right. You're going to either get some [00:12:00] guidance and intuition about why you're feeling this way.
[00:12:03] And then you want to start to explore. How can I shift it? So this feeling or this thought or this behavior does not serve me. It's disempowering. It's lowering my vibration, right? We become consciously aware of that. So then it's like, okay, what do I need to do to move myself through this? I wake up all the time sometimes. And have a negative thought, have a negative emotion, have a negative feeling like that's part of being a human being that happens all the time.
[00:12:31] Now, when that happens to me, I make it mean nothing. It means nothing about me. It means nothing about my life. It means nothing about my business and my capabilities and my happiness and my positivity. It means nothing. I'm just having. A sad day, or I'm just having a day where I'm feeling a lot of anger and I just lovingly and compassionately Like love myself through it I work really hard not to compound and look for [00:13:00] all the evidence as to why I'm shit my life shit Blah blah blah blah.
[00:13:03] I just like I'm having a hard day. I'm having a shit day. I'm having a sad day and I'm just , what do I need today? And so that might look like going for a walk. It might look like having a bath. It might look like doing some visioning or scripting in my journaling. It might look like disassociating, like for a place of empowerment and been watching my favorite reality TV shows.
[00:13:25] It might look like reading a book. So. Rather than beat myself up for the negative thought, I really dig deep to what do I need today? And then I just allow myself to have that day, like feel that feeling and be totally okay about it and know that it means nothing about me. So mindset tip is if you give your negative thought an inch, it'll take a mile. Okay. And so we want to become consciously aware of what you're thinking so that you can create some spaciousness between you and the negative thought that you were thinking [00:14:00] or the negative emotion that you're thinking.
[00:14:02] And we want to then explore what you need, how you can move yourself through it. Versus going straight to your victimhood of beating yourself up, making yourself feel even more shit and compounding, looking for evidence of all the reasons why you should be feeling this way. Right? That's mindset tip number one.
[00:14:21] Okay. The next tip I've got for you this, week in this episode, Is I want you to become aware. A lot of this stuff is around awareness, ? This is a conversation that I have with a client this week. What I was noticing whenever she would drop into my messenger and talk to me about her business.
[00:14:40] Even amazing things that were happening in her business. I noticed really quickly that she goes straight to the negative, and part of like the really powerful coaching that we do in mentorship is me showing my client their blind spots, right? Because you only know what you know.
[00:14:58] You can only [00:15:00] see what you can see. And you're so used to seeing Thinking, being the way that you are, that it's. Very difficult to look at yourself from a bird's eye view. It's not easy to see your blind spots. And that's why coaching and mentorship is really incredibly powerful. So I want to invite you to look at when something happens in your life, good, bad, otherwise, how quickly do you become focused on Like a possible problem or possible lack or possible struggle or any problem that could happen, even when it's something positive that's happening in your life, because if you can actually switch this and really do the mindset work to become aware of this, like this alone would just change like so much in how you show up and.
[00:15:53] You know, like the results that you can achieve in your life, because whatever you focus on is where you are putting all of your [00:16:00] superpower, ? So whatever you focus on expands. And if you always unconsciously seek to find problems in everything that's happening, even the positive things that are happening in your life, then You're going to always find those problems because you're that frigging powerful, right?
[00:16:19] Like whatever you seek to find is exactly what you're going to find So if you're always focusing on there being a problem and not being enough then you're going to find that you're like Oh, why do I keep having this pattern of problems always arises because you are putting your superpower your focus and focus Focusing your energy on there being problems.
[00:16:38] And so that was just a really powerful, like coaching conversation that I had with a client this week that I wanted to share with you. And she was so thankful, ? So thankful that we were able to have, like in my coaching, we have the tough, the hard, the uncomfortable conversations. That's really what coaching is about, you know, is being able to have [00:17:00] those conversations and working with someone that you feel safe with, that I can even call my client out from a loving place and they're totally able to see it, shift it and change it. So this is why working with the right coach is really important. And I do a lot of relationship building with my clients.
[00:17:19] So that we can have those tough, difficult conversations. Because those conversations, like those really tough, uncomfortable, icky conversations are actually where like true breakthrough happens. So like being able to show my client a blind spot that she was not aware of. I mean, once he had the conversation and she became aware of it, she was like, Oh my God, like I can totally see this now.
[00:17:42] But before pointing it out to her, it wasn't something And I knew she wasn't clear because I knew that she wouldn't want to be showing up like that in our, coaching. Like she couldn't even see it. She was so disconnected from being able to see it, right. Because it was just so naturally [00:18:00] ingrained in her to be like that.
[00:18:01] And that's the power of coaching. Okay. What else do I have here for you guys? Okay. Yeah, something that's been coming up a lot in my coaching sessions is really looking at changing our relationship with failure. I find that I have developed personally in my own journey of like running businesses, entrepreneurship.
[00:18:24] I have a really powerful. Relationship with failure. I see failure as a necessary, important, crucial part of my journey to success. I've learned more from my knockdowns and failures. about myself, success, business money than I have from my successes. And so I find when I'm working with women, that's something that we need to work on.
[00:18:57] A lot of the time is changing, [00:19:00] developing, nurturing their relationship with failure so that we can really see failure as such a Powerful part of the journey. And when you change the way you look at things, the way you look at things change. That's a Bob Proctor quote, which I just love, right? It's just showing us the powers within us that if we can change the way we look at things and things we look at change.
[00:19:25] So if every time in life, business, relationships, money, whatever it is, , you fuck up, you make a mistake, you fall down, you beat yourself up for that, you go to your victim hood and you compound it and you just like pile on, pile on, pile on, and you make that mean something negative, disempowering, limiting about you.
[00:19:49] That's a lot of fucking heaviness that you're attaching to like failure. And the truth is it's such a necessary, important part of your journey. Whether you're [00:20:00] working with me as a breakthrough client or you're a business mentor client, like you're going to fall down, you're going to fuck up. You're not going to get it right.
[00:20:08] You're not going to get it right. Always the first time. Sometimes you will. Sometimes you won't. So if every time you get knocked down and you fall down or you fail or you make a mistake, you unconsciously and automatically make that mean something about yourself. And that thing that you make it mean is negative, disempowering and limiting.
[00:20:28] Of course, that is a really toxic disempowering relationship with failure and failure is just such a necessary part of your journey to success. In fact, I don't even like to look at it as failure. We can even change the language of like learnings, you know, as I said, my greatest lessons have come from what.
[00:20:48] Others might perceive as my biggest failures, but I'm so grateful whenever I fall down, get knocked down, have a failure, fuck something up, which I do all the time because it's part of [00:21:00] being human. And it's part of being somebody who's living a large life. Who's out there in the arena, who's doing everything I can, you know what I mean?
[00:21:09] So like scale, build success, learn about new things, like all of those things. Failure is a part of it. So I've worked really hard to change my relationship with failure to see it as something that's powerful, necessary, and there's my greatest lessons. Learning's come from failures. Yeah, so that's mindset tip number 3.
[00:21:32] So let's just do a recap on these three mindset tips and you can start to implement these and you don't even have to do all three. Like maybe it's like, whichever one you resonate with the most from today's episode is start to actually implement that, start to integrate that into your life, start to practice it.
[00:21:52] You know, Anything that you do is going to take a commitment from you to do it. Like any negative belief or negative thought or negative pattern [00:22:00] that you hold, you've actually been really dedicated to integrating that and making that a part of who you are. And the same thing, if you want to release something and you want to implement a new way of thinking being, it's just going to take some work, right?
[00:22:14] And we're not afraid of work. That's why we're here. So let's have a recap. So. Mindset tip number one was if you give your negative thought, an inch, it will take a mile. And so what I want you to do, if that's the one that resonated with you, I want you to become aware of your thoughts and how could you do this?
[00:22:31] Like there's so many different ways that I would guide a client to do this. Here's the easiest way, and actually how I did it is in my notes section of my phone at the end of the day, or as I was having a thought, I would write it in my phone. What emotions are being feeling today that have made me feel like shit.
[00:22:47] What thoughts have I had about myself that have been, you know, limiting negative disempowering. So I just keep a track in my thing and I would do that practice. Okay. Why am I thinking this? Is this in [00:23:00] alignment with who I want to be and then reframing that thought, not integrating it any deeper.
[00:23:05] If that was the thing that resonated with you, that's a little way that you could integrate. This week mindset tip number two was becoming aware of if you are somebody who goes quickly to finding problems in every solution, amazing thing that's happening in your life, like you quickly go to that place again, becoming aware of that.
[00:23:29] And noticing that you're doing that and then consciously reframing it and shifting your focus. So it's like, if you're somebody who goes quickly to what could go wrong, what's not right about it, then looking at reframing that to what's something positive. Like , a great question to ask yourself is often people like, what if this doesn't work out?
[00:23:49] What if I don't get what I want? And a much more empowering question to ask yourself is what if this does work out? I often say to my clients, it's not what you do. [00:24:00] It's the energy in which you do it. And so like, this is a great example of that. So often we ask, what if it doesn't work out? And
[00:24:07] where we are almost like, you know, we're asking that in a disempowering energy, but we can ask that same question with Possibility. What if it does work out? Like what if it all works out the way I want? So it's not what you do. It's the way in which you do it that matters. And so the questions you ask, you can ask them in disempowering ways or empowering ways.
[00:24:35] If something's happening in your life, you can choose to see the possibility of this going right and well for you, or you can choose to see. The problems listen, somebody who's always focused on finding problems will always find problems. Somebody who's always focused on finding solutions will always find a solution.
[00:24:54] So become consciously aware of this is something that you do, and I don't want you to beat yourself up. What's really [00:25:00] important here at the she who dares. H Q is we don't beat ourselves up. Okay. So even if you notice that you're doing some of these things, I want you to be like, Oh my God, I'm so grateful that I have the awareness of this now, because now that I have the awareness, this gives me the power to change it.
[00:25:17] Right. And so you just get a lovingly love yourself through it with lots of compassion, lots of forgiveness, because failure is a part of the journey. We're also changing our relationship with failure. So even though I'm Sharing this with you and you're going to start to integrate some of these things I'm teaching you in the podcast, you're not always going to get it right.
[00:25:38] Right. You're still going to fuck up. You're still going to fall down. Some days you're going to be like, I was on it. I reframed every negative thought. And some days you're going to be like, I'm going to choose to sit in my victim for today and not reframe my thoughts, but just own it either way. Don't beat yourself up.
[00:25:54] Just own it and take responsibility . Take radical responsibility for [00:26:00] yourself. Blaming yourself. Is victim hood. You being a victim, oh my god. Blame myself. I didn't do what Crystal said. Rah, cry me a river. Whereas taking radical responsibility, that's you being like, I chose to be in my victimhood today and I'm going to own it and I'm going to lovingly love myself through this and tomorrow I'm going to wake up and I'm going to get my fucking shit together.
[00:26:23] That's responsibility. Big difference in the energies there. And then mindset tip number three was, I've kind of already spoken about it was changing your relationship with failure. So these are the three tips that I've shared with you in this episode. You can obviously integrate and start to work on all three of these, but if one really resonated with you, like you can start.
[00:26:43] See, which one is like a big wound for you that I want you to start to work on this for yourself. So changing your relationship with failure. Again, it's about reframing the way you look at failure. And so something that I like to [00:27:00] do. I think before we can change our relationship with failure, we first need to become really grateful for our journey.
[00:27:08] And so what I love to do is find something like every day to celebrate. So if you're someone who really has a shitty relationship with failure and you really beat yourself up, Let's just pop that for a minute. And your task is actually every day at the end of the day when your head's on that pillow is to find something that you can be like, I'm really fucking proud of myself for this today.
[00:27:31] I want to celebrate myself for this thing. And that could be the littlest tiniest thing, ? The more you look for things to celebrate, the more you'll have to celebrate. And I feel like that would be a beautiful beginning piece to changing your relationship with failure, because if you can celebrate yourself every day and find something and celebrate where you might've mucked up and how you reframed it, like that's you at the beginning of [00:28:00] really.
[00:28:00] Changing your relationship with failure. So they're my three mindsets tips for this week. I'm going to be doing, this is like probably a little bit of a series because so much goodness happens in my one to one coaching and mentorship spaces. There's so much power in my one to one coaching. This is where like the real juice of the work happens. And so often in sessions, and I'm like, we're having like deep, profound. Fucking life changing conversations. And I'm like, I've got to remember this. I've got to turn this into a post.
[00:28:30] I've got to turn this into a piece of content. And now I'm also like, I've got to podcast. So as I'm having those big breakthroughs with clients and lots of wisdoms coming through, or I've given them some guidance, it's helping them to have like massive transformation in their life.
[00:28:45] I'm like, going to bring those over to the podcast and share little snippets. For you so that you can also start to integrate some of this stuff, because whether you are just listening to the podcast with me, or whether you're ready to jump in and [00:29:00] work with me privately there's so much in this space for you to learn and integrate.
[00:29:05] And yeah. As I've said before, impact is my biggest value in business. So I'm just here to impact you in any which way that I can, whether you're listening to the podcast or you're investing and you're working with me privately, you guys are awesome. Have the best day. If you love this episode and you're like, Something really spoke to you or something to really landed for you, or you had a mini breakthrough, or, you know, exactly what you're going to work on after this episode, head over to my Instagram or my email, send me a message.
[00:29:35] I love hearing from you guys have the best day. And thanks for listening. [00:30:00] [00:31:00]
