riverside_krystal_ wilson_raw-video-cfr_krystal_ wilson's s_0018
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[00:00:00] when I reflect on the last decade, I've lost myself and I've found myself. I now know that nothing can happen in this next decade that can stop me. I'm ready for whatever comes my way, the good, the bad, the great, the ugly, the heartbreaking, the hard, the difficult. The amazing, the easy, I'm ready for it all, and that makes me unstoppable.
[00:01:00]
Guys, guess what? It's my birthday. Well, actually [00:02:00] yesterday was my birthday. So yesterday I turned 41, 41. And I was like, what's something fun that I can do for the podcast around my birthday, but also something that is going to inspire you guys And light a fire under your ass and remind you of how strong and powerful you are and all that you can create.
And I was like, you know what? I've turned 41 yesterday. It's my motherfucking birthday. And I'm going to reflect on the last decade of my life because the last decade of my life, holy moly, There have been trials. There have been tribulations. There have been massive successes and massive failures. It has been such an up down journey and I've landed here at 41.
And I don't know [00:03:00] what this year has in store for me. And I feel like I start every, you know, birthday year with so optimism. And again, I'm studying this year. I feel good. I feel really excited about the year ahead. And I feel really excited about the next decade. And so I was like, I'm going to do a bit of a reflection episode on the past decade.
We're going to go back. We're going to rewind the tape back to 2014. I'm going to take you through every year. You know, the biggest challenges, my biggest lessons of every year of the last decade. And I hope my intention is that it inspires you that you can see some of yourself in this story and that it shows you that even though it feels like you're getting knocked down, you're actually still moving in the right fucking direction.
Because when I reflect over my last decade, I'm like, wow, what a decade. Like it is honestly, it's like stripped me down and [00:04:00] built me back up to sit here now 41 and I'm reflecting going, wow, Crystal, what a decade. So let's freaking do this. So two thousand and forty, we're rewinding the tape back, it's two thousand and fourteen.
This is the year where my old life fell apart and a new life began. And the reason that this happened is that in twenty fourteen, two major things happened. I had a huge. Like heartbreaking fallout with a really close friend. And in the wake of that fallout, it very much felt like I lost everybody. And I didn't actually lose everybody, but that was kind of where my emotional intelligence was at at the time is that I very much saw the breakdown of that one friendship, meaning that I was losing everyone. And I actually perpetuated that experience where I [00:05:00] withdrew from my entire. Friendship group, because I just didn't feel safe there anymore. And it wasn't that I wasn't safe there anymore.
I mean, you'll see some bits, I wasn't actually fucking safe there anymore, but it was just how I reacted. So that was a big thing. and it felt like my whole world fell apart. It felt like everything that I knew and loved was gone overnight. And so it was a huge defining moment and
Honestly, like the heartbreak of the loss of that friendship took me . Years to actually heal from it was like, something was so painful for me that I would say that for a good five years, I felt the heartbreak of the breakdown of that friendship and all the things that happened, you know, thereafter.
And now we're 10 years on and I can honestly say that, you know, now I can reflect back on the loss of that friendship and I, can totally see like the role that I played and I can [00:06:00] take responsibility for that, you know, whereas maybe at the time I definitely felt like it was more like I was the victim and I wasn't, it was a toxic relationship and we both played a role and we both contributed to the breakdown of that friendship.
But at the time. I think it was harder for me to see that. So I can see my growth in that. I can see, wow, I learned so much about myself in that friendship. And I learned things about myself that I didn't like. And because of the breakdown of that friendship. I am now a very different woman.
It's so bizarre, because I would say that if you follow me on social media, you might get the impression that I'm very open and I am open. Like, I mean, I'm deep diving into my last decade of my life, sharing all my fuck ups and wins and failures with you. So I am really open.
But when it comes to like actually letting people in, I am very cautious about that. And I think since the [00:07:00] breakdown of this friendship in particular, I very much closed off a piece of myself that I'm only just becoming aware of. And it's not negative. It's not like I closed off a piece of myself and I don't let people in.
It's not that. I've, played that game. Before in my more unhealed years, it's more a position of power. Now. I feel like most of my life, I felt like I needed people. And I felt like I needed validation. I needed to be loved. I needed to be seen by others. And I really craved love. Like I just really wanted people to love me.
And now I feel like the breakdown of that friendship, I felt like I lost everything. Every person that I love, people that I thought were like family, and I had to find strength on my own. And that very much [00:08:00] felt like I stood alone. And everyone turned their backs on me. Now, I'm not saying that that's what happened.
That's how it felt for me at the time. And so now I don't need people and for me personally, and the roles that I've played in friendships and relationships before this, that's actually a very empowering place for me to be because in a position of power. I don't need people. Like I have learned to find what I need from within, and then I have a really tight group of people that I love with all my depth and capacity, but I'm not out there needing love and depth and capacity and validation from , everybody.
I just don't need it. And I just don't need anyone else. Everyone that's in my life. It's because I truly choose to have them in my life. And for me personally, I feel like it's a position of power. [00:09:00] Not sure if you guys can relate. Also in 2014, as I was losing my entire friendship group, I also joined a network marketing company now, but those of you who've been following me a long time, you may remember this, time 2014, I joined a network marketing company and that network marketing company was Isagenix.
I had never even heard of network marketing before I joined. It was presented to me as like a business opportunity. And I was like, so hungry and excited about this opportunity. Trying the products, launching this business and seeing what it could do for me. So at the same time that I was losing everything that I'd once known, I was gaining something.
Incredible. So this is why I call 2014 the year that my old life fell apart and a new life begun because in 2014, I lost everyone. I joined a network marketing company. I earned my first hundred K in a [00:10:00] business, right? On my own in a business. And as I had a lot of success in 2014 and so on in network marketing, and I did have a lot of success, I was like balls to the wall.
Let's fucking go. And what happened was is a lot of old friends that I'd fallen out with and a lot of acquaintances in my kind of place that I'm from Canberra started to attack me publicly. So I lost. A really close friend and that felt like I lost all of my friends. I joined a network marketing company, so I had to have wild fucking success really quickly.
And with that came people attacking me publicly on social media. And so that year made me the woman that I am today because I had to stand so tall and so strong while people mocked me, vilified me, told [00:11:00] untruths about me, On social media publicly. I mean, I will never forget this one weekend that Bruce was away and it was literally the week of I'm turning 30.
And I had blocked everyone that was kind of attacking me online. I just, gave it no energy. I just like kept moving. I was winning. I was making a shit ton of money. I was traveling the world. My life was good. I was not going to allow petty little people. Who were experiencing like threat because of my success and what I was doing, come off me.
I was just like, whatever. But did it fucking hurt? Oh my God. It really, really hurt. And I never forget this one weekend I blocked everyone, but a close girlfriend of mine, she was like, Hey, have you seen what's happening on Facebook? And cause I blocked everyone. I couldn't say it. And she started sending me screenshots And what was really painful is like, if Crystal Wilson is really selling. weight loss products that work. Why is she fat? Like, I mean, like that as a [00:12:00] public post and also I gained a lot of weight after that. Like, do I think it's all interlinked maybe emotionally? I ate my feelings, but I wasn't even that big then you motherfuckers. But anyway, that was the post.
It was Crystal Wilson's weight loss products work. Why doesn't it look like she works? Another pose. Remember like, Oh, why doesn't Krista Wilson post a bikini pic if her products work so well. And so like this one person would put something like that out there. And then there would be like all these bottom feeders of society would then be like, yeah, let's attack Krista Wilson.
And so my friend sent me the post and what was really, really fucking painful screenshots of like the people commenting, they were people that I was still friends with. And I'll never forget that night that felt like, Whoa, this is mean. And I'm like 30 experiencing bullying, but bullying was nothing new to me.
I've always like been bullied and you know, some of it's my responsibility. Some of it's other people's responsibility, but like, whatever. So 2014, I am [00:13:00] honestly can sit here today and say, I am the woman that I am today. Because of the year that I had in 2014, where it felt like everything that I knew who I was, who I know, my friends, my social groups, everything felt like it crumbled.
And at the same time, I built something on my own. When I say on my own, I just mean it wasn't my own, but like, I built it with a, team of people. It was amazing, but I just meant like, it felt like I was on my own. No one from my hometown or friendship group was like really into what I was doing, which is totally fine.
I took a lot of fucking arrows in the back in 2014 and it made me the woman that I am today. 2015. Okay. So now I'm 31. This is the year that I traveled the fucking world. So I had never been overseas. My first overseas trip was when I was 30 years old. Bruce, my fiance, like extensively well traveled, like lived in multiple different countries, been traveling since he was 18.
And [00:14:00] so we had our first overseas trip together in Bali, but when we joined the network marketing company, as I mentioned, I had a lot of success quickly. And so one of the things that they do in network marketing companies is they put on like competitions to win free holidays and they're like, bougie five star trips.
And so get this, it was actually fascinating going back and remembering each of these years in 2015, in January, I won a trip to Cambodia in August. I won a trip to Disneyland. I went to Disneyland, LA and San Diego. And then in September, I won a trip to Europe first class flights.
We flew first class Emirates to Athens. We spent a week on the Seaborne Odyssey, which is a six star boutique cruise ship. And we traveled all around the Greek islands. Honestly, I walked on that ship and I'm like, I grew up in government [00:15:00] housing. Like I grew up with not a lot. So like, I was like, this feels very bougie for me, but I fucking loved it.
So then in September we flew first class to Greece, Croatia, Italy, Malta. Now this is my first time going to Italy. And if you know me, you know that Italy is my soul home. I often tell people I'm one 16th Italian. It's a bit of a running joke. But funnily enough, I actually might be one 16th Italian because my, mom's dad's.
family. he passed away when she was very young. She was only like nine, I think, but she remembers going to his side of the family and calling his mother or his great grandmother, Nona, all Italian. And so I'm begging my mom. I bought my mom a DNA test and she hasn't done it yet.
I bought it for her in 2021 and she hasn't taken it yet, but I'm like, can you please do this DNA test? Because I just tell people I'm one 16th Italian because I love Italian culture. I love Italian people. I love Italian food. I love Italy. It's just always been my soul [00:16:00] home, but I actually might be fucking Italian.
Like, and then you know what? One of my biggest dreams in life is to live in Italy. It always has since before I can remember before I die. I am going to live in Italy and I am going to embody the full identity of an Italian woman and just live in this beautiful, maybe Rome or some of the little town.
It's like one of my dreams, but if I am actually Italian through this DNA test, I think it's like, if you have any Italian in you, Italy will give you a passport. So I like really need to get onto that with my mom. But anyway, I went to Italy for the first time, fucking loved it. It was so incredible.
And then we also won another trip to Hamilton Island. So 2015 was the year that I literally had no stamps in my passport. Stamp book. I won every award, every trip. It was amazing. Amazing. Amazing. Something else that happened in 2015, I think is a really pivotal thing is I sat in a personal development event in June of , 2015.
15, but you guys get what I mean I sat in a personal development event and [00:17:00] on the screen, the keynote speaker put up a quote that read she who dares wins. I had never seen that quote before, but as I read that quote, every cell in my body. Was like electric. And I knew that that was the name of my business, that that was my mission, that that's who I was.
I was somebody who was out there willing to fucking win at life against all the odds. So it really spoke to me. I left that event before I even knew what she who dares would be to me or what my business would be. And I registered that as a business name. So I've been paying. Or , the business name, she who dares.
Since 2015, long before I actually launched this business and knew what it was going to be, which I just thought was a really cool point. 2016, I'm 32. This was the year that Bruce and I decided to start a family. I actually shared this in last week's episode or a couple of [00:18:00] episodes ago when I gave a digital diary about IVF's journey.
I'll never forget this because we lied in bed and we're like, should we like start a family? And we're like, yes, so young, so naive. And now it's nine years later, lots of IVF, lots of, you know, negative pregnancy tests and our family yet hasn't been started. Well, it has because Bruce and I, we have such a beautiful relationship.
, I've actually been getting like little downloads that I need to do an episode on like our relationship. I think some of the really great qualities of our relationship, cause I feel like I work with a lot of women and I've worked with hundreds of women over the years.
And it really breaks my heart. How many women are settling for like below average relationships and below average behavior. And I was like, I feel like. There's a lot to speak on here because I was somebody who used to settle for below average relationships and men before I met Bruce. Anyway, that's a whole nother podcast episode.
So also we want to trip to Hawaii. That was so cool. The best trip in Hawaii in , 2016, [00:19:00] I won heaps of awards in isogenics and a really big pivotal moment in 2016. I was invited to speak on stage and give a keynote. Speaking, teaching from the stage gig. And I taught on social media and branding from 2016.
And I did that in front of 5, 000 people. Now I am somebody who fucking, and I was , terrified of public speaking. I got out of every speech. Speech. And the main reason I never went to uni was because I was so scared. Like I did adult education where I could again, manipulate and control the situation I got out of every speech that I've ever had to do in school.
I'm a pro at manipulation, right? This is why when you guys work with me, I'm like, I know all your fucking tricks. Cause I used to be you. And I spoke on stage in front of 5, 000 people and I will never forget , that feeling. Feeling of exhilaration, but fear and knowing that it was happening. Like I got the gig, like, you know, like six, eight weeks before I was due [00:20:00] on stage.
And in that moment, like it was one of the most pivotal moments of my career, because I just had to overcome such a huge fear that it held me back. And this is why I always say, and not that I'm famous for it. I say it enough. I should start getting some kind of like, royalties every time I say it, but you've got to face that fear, baby. You've got to face that fear and you've got to walk into it. It's the only way to overcome that fear and to take your fucking power back. And I had lived that so many times in my life. In 2016, we also moved back to Canberra.
I lived with my parents for a few months, which was, that was an interesting time. Me and Bruce in my old bedroom. 2017 I'm 33. This is the year that I got engaged. Okay. Which was a complete surprise. Bruce is honestly one of the best men I've ever met in my life. And I'm so grateful for him every day, but like planning and executing, like I take that role.
Like I'm the control freak who [00:21:00] takes that role. He just like, happy for me to do it. And it's not really his thing, but he planned. The most incredible engagement. I had absolutely no idea that he was about to propose to me. And he actually pre booked a cave in Nusa Dua in Bali, well on a trip in Bali.
And he like, I don't even know how he did it, but we basically rocked up to a dinner on the beach. Which I thought was really cute that he was taking me out to this dinner on the beach, which also should have been a red flag. Cause that's not Bruce's style. He's like, where do you want to go? And I'm like, here, we plan everything kind of together.
And so I was walked down to the beach into a cave at sunset in Nusa Dua, there are a thousand tea light candles in the cave. I love you in rose petals. And then. Bruce got down on one knee and asked me to be his wife. And my response famously was fuck off. And not because I was hungry to fuck off. I was in absolute pure shock.
I'm like, what's going on? What, how? And Bruce had [00:22:00] designed the ring with my mom. While we were living in Canberra, I had no idea Bruce was literally dropping me at the gym I was going to a female gym and then I thought he was going to the gym next door, but he was actually going to the jeweler and meeting my mom and getting this ring made.
And one of my favorite things about this ring is that my grandma, who was like one of my favorite people, she's not actually my grandma. She's my great, great auntie, but she always played the role of grandma to me. So I just call her grandma. This is how like fucking annoyingly honest I am is that every time I speak about her, I call my grandma and then I have to like correct myself.
Cause I'm like, that's not correct. But like, no one actually fucking cares about those intricate details. Like I wish I could just be like, she's my grandma anyway. And she left diamonds. She was covered in diamonds. Actually, she left diamonds to my mom and my mom gave them to Bruce. To be made in the ring.
So the ring that I have is very sentimental to me and very, very important. So we got married in Bali, which is beautiful. And that year we also won a trip to Vegas, Arizona, [00:23:00] LA. We had an amazing trip with an incredible group of our friends within Isagenix in August. So, so good on that trip, like a huge highlight.
I'm an R and B girl. It like the first CD that I ever purchased was life after death by a Notorious B. I. G. And so on that event, we were invited on stage in Vegas in front of like 5, 000 people with Montel Jordan as he sang, this is how we do it. And we sang it on stage with him. It was like such a cool highlight.
My God, I've got all these notes. It was like, so ridiculous. This is actually interesting where I started to gain weight and when I started to gain weight being in a weight loss health wellness company, it was so detrimental for my mental health. One of the main reasons that I ended up walking away from Isagenix was I found it really difficult to be a successful leader within the [00:24:00] company.
And. Be gaining weight. Like my weight was kind of like, just started to like, get out of control. I just couldn't lose the weight. I started to gain the weight and it just really impacted me. And I started to feel very depressed. I wanted to hide. I didn't want to show up at the events. I didn't want to get up.
I kept getting invited on stages to speak and like. Not only was I overcoming my fear of public speaking, but it was so vulnerable. I felt so uncomfortable to stand up on stage overweight in a weight loss company. It just felt like so disingenuous. I know I really, it just plummeted my mental health and I was really anxious, really depressed and it just kept declining.
And so 2018 I'm 34 is the year that I lost and found myself again because of the weight gain. I just Really struggled to keep showing up in Isagenix as a company, promoting the products believing in the products, it was [00:25:00] two separate things. The products have worked for hundreds of people, right?
Like thousands of people all over the world. It wasn't that that, but it was just hard to be seen gaining weight. Like , the shame was so fucking heavy. And so with that, I stepped away and I first stepped away. Without really even telling anyone. I just kind of like went away. And I had a team of 6 to 7, 000 people all over the world.
So I had a huge team and I was earning a lot of money still, but I was kind of stuck in a plateau and first, I stopped believing in myself. Then I stopped believing in the products. Then I , stopped believing in the, dream that I'd been sold because we had a lot of success really quickly, but we couldn't quite get past that success.
So with all of that doubt, I withdrew and I realized that this probably wasn't going to be the thing that I thought it was going to be. And with that comes a time of processing and grief, you know, I really made that company like a big part of my identity. I was the Isagenix girl, ? And I had all this success, I made all this money.
I had a huge [00:26:00] team. I was winning all the awards, like all these free trips. Like, so it was a really like difficult identity shift as well. At that time, I withdrew at that time and I just went inwards. And thankfully, like people who say network marketing doesn't work. I mean, it fucking worked for me.
Like I'm able to like basically take six. Seven, eight months off of work. I didn't actively build my business and I still got paid really good money. Every week in fact, I still earn residual money in my Isagenix business that I have not built in very, very, very long time because of the work that I put in, in the beginning, which is just wild to me.
I know that that's not the experience for everybody, but that was my experience. I cringe when I think back at my posts and like how I showed up cringe, like cringe, but I'm also like, ah, good on me for getting out there and giving it a red hot fucking go good on me for doing something that everyone attacks me for good on me for proving to myself that I could.
Good on me [00:27:00] for going against the grain. Good on me for holding my head fucking high. Like I look back at my time in isogenics. I look back at my time in network marketing and I'm just so fucking grateful. I wouldn't even be where I am doing what I'm doing now if I hadn't had that stepping stone.
And so I'm just, So grateful, but also just so you know, if you watched me in that time of my life, I cringe, you know, Facebook memories, like, well, the cringe level is really fucking cringy, but I'm also really, really grateful. Like it, only gave me so much, but when my time was done, my time was done.
I'm very much like that, but I don't believe in something. There's no way that I can sell it to anyone. I have to like deeply within my soul, believe in it. And if I do watch out world, because , I'm unstoppable. And so that was the year that I lost myself and found myself. Now, this is a really important pivotal moment because this comes up a lot with my clients, especially my clients who are building businesses on the side, whether that be a network marketing, coaching Your fears, your [00:28:00] fear of being seen, your fear of being judged, your fear of rejection, all of these fears are cock blocking everything you want.
And when you start to face these fears. You start to take your power back.
you know, small business service based businesses, and they're still working in some capacity, whether that's full time, part time.
Casually, what's really important. Now I knew I did not want to do Isagenix anymore. I knew my time with this company, this business was done. I could not do it anymore. However, I had to do it. I knew that financially I had to keep supporting my team, keep supporting my clients, keep doing what The little bit that I needed to, so that I could keep it going while I built something else in the background.
And so what I decided to do was take the money that I was earning in Isagenix and I started to invest [00:29:00] that in building she who dares my new business. And how I did that by going and getting, you know, certifications doing my NLP prac, my NLP masters, my prac, hypno masters, hypno invested a lot of money to get the certifications and qualifications so that I could actually do the work that I now do that I did as a client.
So something that happened in 2018, which was a pivotal moment And so many of my breakthrough clients have this exact same moment. And this is why I'm like, sometimes find it really difficult to articulate the fucking power of breakthrough work because it's like, it's so individual to the person, but everything's going to fucking change.
If you just get out of your own way and listen to your gut, if your gut is telling you to do breakthrough work with me, stop fucking ignoring it. But also be conscious of your fear, trying to keep you right where you are, because in September, 2018, I [00:30:00] did a breakthrough. I was not yet qualified to do breakthroughs.
I was a client. I was somebody who was having her, I've lost myself here. And I was recommended by somebody to do a breakthrough. And I did that breakthrough and I left that breakthrough. And I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I knew exactly how I needed to do it. And I took action immediately. It was, I had a fucking breakthrough.
What do you want from me? Like I had a fucking breakthrough, I left that. I became a coach. I did the thing I truly wanted to do, which was make an impact in people's life, which is why I love to network marketing because I really felt like I was making an impact in people's lives. And then I really want to be a counselor.
I was going to be a psychologist, and now I know that those fields would not suit me because I need to be me. I need to be me and I don't want to be held down by protocol and a bunch of bullshit that I've got to skirt around. Like, you know me, if you work with me, I'm straight down the line.
We move shit. We move it quickly. I will lovingly call you [00:31:00] out and I will absolutely hold you to a higher standard than you're holding yourself. And so being a coach and a mentor, , this is what suits me and my personality and the type of impact that I want to make on people. So from my breakthrough, I was like, I'm going to be a fucking coach.
And deep down, I knew that, but I was telling myself that that was the predictable thing to do. But everyone becomes a coach, right? And I was shitting on all the people who were becoming coaches, but really deep down, I really wanted to be a coach. And so I had my breakthrough. I broke through like years and years and years of hurt and pain and victim mentality and all the things.
And I decided I want to be a fucking coach. I'm going to go after it. And then I realized, Oh, I've been paying for that business name since 2015. She who dares. That's what my business is. The thing landed before I even knew what the thing was going to be. Then I spent a shit ton of money and time educating, getting certified, learning all the modalities and skills that I could actually make the [00:32:00] level of impact that I just had in my life, doing a breakthrough in the lives of others.
And it was incredible. In 2019, I was 35, and this is the year that I became Unstoppable. 2019. Honestly, like, whoa, whoa. I did so much. I did my hypnotherapy practitioner course and Master Hypnotherapy practitioner course. I launched my very first program called Unstuck Yourself, and I launched this four times In 2019.
I had over 50 women join. In May of 2019, I decided I wanted to go to Italy again, and I set myself a challenge, ? I'm so unstoppable when I make a decision. the thing is like, I share that with you because so can you be. So can you be, so can you be right? Your decision when you decide something and you draw a fucking line in the sand and you step over that line and there's no plan B it's plan a or nothing, baby, you unlock a level of determination and [00:33:00] resilience and power within yourself that is unstoppable.
And I know this to be true because I've done it so many times. This is a random example, but in May, 2019. We were saving for IVF. We were saving for a house. We're saving for a wedding, all these things we wanted to do. And I decided I want to go to Italy because I knew we're going to do IVF in 2020.
And I was like, let's just do one. And I thought we're going to fall pregnant because I'm so optimistic all the time. And I was like, , I want to go overseas before we start a family. I want to go back to Italy. And I set myself a 90 day challenge. so it was May and we were going to go to Italy in August because we had friends who had just moved to Sicily and we're going to go stay with them.
We're going to tie that into our trip. And I set myself a challenge to create the entire amount of money that we would need to go to Italy. For three weeks, which is about 25 K , when you've got flights, car hire, accommodation, all the different places you want to travel. And we upgraded to business class.
We've got a great deal on business class just before we left as well. [00:34:00] And so I set myself a challenge because Bruce, he's more like, let's say, Caution, which is great. We're the perfect mix. So my challenge was, is we're not going to use savings. I'm not going to take a cent out of savings.
We're going to create this money. I'm going to create this money in my business in 90 days, and I'm going to pay for everything. Bruce did the same with his income that he could spare as well. And within 90 days, we had fully paid in cash, no credit cards, nothing like that. For our entire trip to Italy.
And we left in August and it was so good. Oh my God. It was like my dream trip. And so every time I've done something like that, where I've made a decision, drawn a line in the sand and fucking said, I'm creating this, I am doing this. There's no, if, but maybe when it's a decision it's already been done, I like literally blow my own mind and I built that level of mindset where I know if I decide something and I'm really decided and I'm in it, nothing can hold me back.
In 2019. I served [00:35:00] 171 women in my business in private breakthrough coaching, business mentorship, and my courses. wrote five ebooks. I traveled to Italy for three weeks at the best time. And then when I got back from Italy, I decided I wanted to hold my first she who dares event and in person event and I held one in Brisbane, one in Canberra and I sold them out.
I got back from Italy in September and six weeks later, I was holding the events and selling them out and that was so incredible. Absolutely awesome. However, on the back end of that event, so I was in Canberra for the last event of the two and it was two hours before I was meant to fly home to Canberra and we had a huge family situation go down with one of, my family members that ended up meaning that I had to cancel my flights.
I couldn't get that flight and It's been such a huge thing that I've been dealing with since 2019, this huge kind of like secret [00:36:00] that was in my family that was uncovered and now just been holding the weight of that for the last few years has been incredibly heavy. I'm still actually dealing with it today.
If you're an eldest child, you probably get this, like when something big goes down in your family, like. I don't know what it is, whether I put that responsibility on myself or whether that's just always been the way, but it just feels like I have to hold this. I have to fix this. And so in the back end of that event, Like some big things went down in my family and I've been holding the responsibility, trying to fix this really big thing that happened since 2019 in 2020, I was 36.
And this was my biggest year in business. So all of the work that I did in 2019 paid me very well in 2020 and 2020, like all the COVID stuff went down. And I want to share with you something that happened For me in COVID, when I noticed like what was happening, I made again, a [00:37:00] conscious, defined, powerful decision that I would not get in the pit with people.
I would not sit in fear. I would not get in the pit. I would not become consumed with all things COVID as best as I could because I knew that if I get in the pit of Fear and lack and scarcity with people, how the fuck can I help them? And so I never forget making that decision and putting a big bubble of protection around myself.
And it ended up being my biggest year in business. I served hundreds of women in 2020 and made a huge impact in the lives of others because I did not get in the pit with people. I was like, I cannot help people if I'm in the same shitty mindset and fear and lack of And consuming all the negativity that was out there.
If I consume that with people, I can't help them. And that was a really huge defining moment. In 2021, I'm 37. This is my, what the [00:38:00] actual fuck year? What the actual fuck? So at this stage, I'm the biggest I've ever been. It's 2021. I've gained a lot of weight. I'm like 40 kilos. Yeah, 40 kilos above what I normally sit at.
And I've, wasn't like an overnight thing, obvs. And that was really impacting my mental and emotional health. I just, you know, I would look in the mirror And I just couldn't even see me anymore. Like I lost myself in every kilo that I gained.
And it was really hard to show up every day, but I did it and I worked on myself, love, and I worked on myself acceptance. And I did it and I showed up and I still did all the big things that I do every other year. But I would be lying if I said it didn't take a toll on me to show up when I was, okay.
Just uncomfortable in my own body, my own skin and I could no longer see myself when I looked in the mirror, we moved into a beautiful cottage in 2021. [00:39:00] This is so random, but like, I can very much feel energy, especially like in people and in homes. And so there have been homes that I've lived in where I can definitely feel that there's a off energy.
And this particular house that we lived in, we only lived in it for 11 months. And every day I lived in fear. Every day, every time I turned a corner, every time I looked in a mirror, every time I turned on a light after being in a dark room, I expected something to jump out at me. There was definitely a really heavy, dense, scary energy in that house and I felt it.
Every single day that I live there and living in a house where you are feeling that level of fear is it's all consuming. And it's so interesting cause now we live in like a hundred year old cottage, ? And I have never felt anything. It's so weird. I lived in another house in Wynnum, which was like a brand new build.
And every night I slept with a lamp on in the bedroom, because again, I felt there was something in that house. There was just a [00:40:00] weird energy that I could pick up on. Every house is different. And so we went from this, another hundred year old house in kind of Coorparoo in Brisbane.
Every day I lived in fear, every fucking day. I was like, felt there was something behind me. Oh my God. Like, so spooky. And now I'm in another a hundred year old house and I've never, ever felt anything for not even a second, which I'm very grateful for. Because if you feel the energy of house, when you live in them, you know how all consuming it is to live in fear of like this weird.
Negative energy that surrounds you. It's also the year that we got our puppy. I don't really want to get into that. So you've listened to previous episodes, you know, we actually had to put our puppy down. It's just too fucking emotional. So let's just bypass that in August of 2021. This was my what the fuck year, right?
So I'm living in a haunted fucking house. Well, we've got our puppy who's having huge problems. And then in August of that year, we were involved in a violent home invasion where four people were stabbed. And that was a really, really scary, took us [00:41:00] months. You don't ever recover from something like that, especially for the people who were stabbed and, you know, actually experience that we were their neighbors.
We ran in. It was a whole thing. I've spoken about it briefly over the years, but never really got into it. I'm not going to get into it now, but I'm just telling you, it's like my what the fuck year to be involved in a very violent, very publicly. All over the news, we had news crews outside our house for a week trying to interview us.
We wouldn't do interviews because we were just so fucking traumatized by what we had seen, what we had heard, the whole experience. It was definitely a really, really tough experience. And 2021 was just a tough year. So 2022, I'm 38. This is the year that broke me. It's just crazy.
Like everything is building up, shifting, changing. Like every year there's good things. Every year there's bad things. But this year fucking broke me. I made a huge. Financial investment in my business that ended up backfiring and costing me a lot of money. I received a phone call in [00:42:00] 2022 that instantly shattered me.
I mean, the phone call that I received in 2022 knocked me to the ground so hard that I did not get up for six months. catapulted me into a deep depression for six months where like every day I was just crying. I just felt like I. Did not know who I was anymore and I lost my self belief. Everything I knew about myself and my strength and my resilience and who I thought I was was shattered in one phone call.
Then that catapulted me into a deep dark depression for about six months. And you know, it's really interesting. I've shared little snippets of like 2022 being my hardest year. I still showed the fuck up. Okay. Like. The people that worked with me in 2022. I launched courses in 2022. I launched a membership in 2022.
I worked just like I did any other year. All right. I showed [00:43:00] up. Nobody knew unless I told them. Nobody knew because I've had clients reach out to me and be like, whoa, when you talk about 2022 and what you were going through, I had no idea. And that's because I have done the work like, when you do breakthrough work with me it's not like shit.
Things are never going to happen to you. Shit. Things are going to fucking happen to you. I can guarantee that we're changing how your capacity, we're changing how you think, feel, react, and respond to the bad things that are happening to you. So I can hold the duality of. Getting knocked down to the fucking ground and being in a deep dark depression.
I can hold that and still serve my clients, serve my business, show up and make an impact. And I think that's like a really important part. Like shitty things are still going to happen, but you're going to be different when the shitty things happen. You're going to be able to do what you need to do to get through it.
Just like I have. And I hope that from this episode, you're getting what I'm laying down, right? You're seeing what I'm trying to say. I also reached [00:44:00] 121 fucking kilos. Like this is when, like when I looked in the mirror, I was like, Oh, well, crystals literally, I cannot see crystal at all. I was 121 kilos.
Now just for some context, I'm five, nine and a half. So. I'm tall and I can hold weight well, but I couldn't hold 121 kilos. Well, you know, you're on your knees. I'm in a deep, dark depression. I'm 121 kilos. I've had a phone call that's knocked me to my fucking call. I'm 121 kilos. And I also realized I can't lose this weight on my own, which that realization was such a huge gift because I then Made an appointment with a weight loss surgeon.
I had the sleeve five weeks later and it was the greatest gift I've ever given myself was having weight loss surgery. My biggest regret was that I convinced myself for so many years that I didn't need help when actually I did need help and getting that help has Changed the course of my life. And it's actually not changed the course of my life.
I was off course, every [00:45:00] kilo I was gaining, I was off course, I was getting further and further away from myself. And so having weight loss surgery actually course corrected my life. And now I look in the mirror and I'm like, Oh, hello, there's crystal. Nice to see you. And just looking in the mirror and being able to see you again, Oh my god, I can't even tell you and
so all of you listening who have struggled with your weight, I feel like you'll understand what I mean. I've struggled with my weight my whole life, and they just got to a point where I lost control of having any control over my weight. And the biggest gift I gave myself was actually asking for help.
And that help resulted in weight loss surgery, getting the sleeve, and now I can see myself. I look in the mirror. I can see me again. And I'm so grateful for that. And I know that those of you who've also struggled with your own up and down weight will really understand what I'm saying and , like what a gift it is to look in the mirror and recognize who's looking back at you.
And then 2023 I'm 39 [00:46:00] and I'm going to name this year darkest before the dawn. I'm now like what I had my weight loss surgery in October, 2022. So now it's the beginning of 2023 and I thought life's going to be so fucking good. And it was not, it was a hard fucking year. My God. Darkest before the dawn,
my hair started to fall out after my birthday in February in 2023. And by June I'd lost 50 percent of my hair, which is very common after you have weight loss surgery, or any kind of surgery. It's not. Linked to specifically weight loss surgery, which I think is a misconception. It's about any kind of trauma that your body goes under similar to postpartum.
After going through childbirth, you can have hair loss or any operation. It triggers something in your body. Like a gene within your system where you will then lose hair. I cannot think of the name to save my life. And I feel like even if I could remember, I don't know how to pronounce it. , [00:47:00] anyway, so that happened to me, but I got really sick after weight loss surgery over December of 2022, January, 2023.
I was actually had influenza, a pneumonia, I was hospitalized. I was told by doctors to prepare myself to be in hospital for weeks. He said 12 to 14 days. He was expecting me to be in hospital and I actually discharged myself. It's a long story, but I was really, really fucking sick.
I had moments where I literally thought I was going to die. And I, Was getting really bad care in the hospital. And so I discharged myself and was like, I'd rather feel like shit at home. Anyway, then I had nurses come in and visit every day. I had a drip in my arm. I was getting like IV and antibiotics every day at home through nurses.
It's a whole thing. I was very, very sick. And so that coupled with weight loss surgery, those two big traumas really close together, my hair fell out in clumps. I would stand in the shower. And in shock at just how much my hair was falling out [00:48:00] and just in out of shock and like me and Bruce, I was preparing to be bald.
I was like, I'm going to go bald. I'm losing so much hair. And thankfully I didn't go bald. My hair grew back, but now my hair is fucking falling out again, which is so annoying, this has happened before. So I'm all good. I think it's falling out again Because of the IVF medications, the steroid that I was on.
And I had a surgery in the middle of all the IVF at the end of 2024. And then I also was on a lot of medications. And once I stopped those medications, like abruptly, it's like all that hormones that was in my body. My body's gone into that kind of form of shock again. So I literally had a shower this morning and blow dry my hair.
Look, doesn't it look lovely? If you're watching the YouTube video of this episode and I'm just like, in shock, like so much hair is falling out. It's not as bad as last time and I also know that it's not gonna all fall out, like even though sometimes when your hair is falling out you feel like, oh my god, I'm losing all of my hair.
I'm not gonna lose all my hair. I've actually [00:49:00] walked this path before so kind of okay. It's all good. And so after the weight loss surgery, after my hair falling out, to be honest with you, I just needed to cocoon myself.
And what I did was read 33 fiction books. I went inwards and I healed. I feel like after the buildup of the few years that I'd had, I just needed Look after me for a minute. So 2023, I spent a lot of time in bed reading books and finding my love for reading again. I read so many crime and fiction books that I will never read another one again, or I need a good five year break. I just started to like, pick myself back up and put myself back together. And kind of rebuild myself after a really tough few years and having a huge surgery that my body needed healing from, which leads me to 2024, the year I turned 40. And this was the metamorphosis of me. I celebrated turning 40.
We moved to Toowoomba, to this beautiful hundred year old cottage and this home. [00:50:00] It's so healing and so nurturing. And I feel like it's the home that I'm going to be pregnant in. It's the home that I'm going to bring my baby home to. It's also the year that we put our beautiful puppy Biggie to sleep.
Which I'm not going to get into, but it's a defining thing that happened to us last year. I also last year consciously chose to slow down, which I don't think I've ever done. I'm always go, go, go next, next, next hustle, hustle, hustle, keep moving forward kind of girl. I consciously chose to slow down because I knew we were going to start fertility.
And I'm like, now I'm 40 doing IVF. You know what I mean? The last time I did, I was 36. And I just felt like I needed to slow down. I needed to make fertility the priority and I needed to just trust that the universe and God would support me in doing so. I feel like for me, there's a bit of a like belief I've had to work through around like being a [00:51:00] mom, actively trying to fall pregnant, being pregnant, having a child is going to impact my ability to have, Success and reach my goals.
And so I kind of like tested that I was like, I'm going to chill out. I'm not going to do any more launches for 2024. I'm not going to push hard in my business. I'm going to intuitively trust that the universe is going to support me. God's going to support me to just go through this IVF.
And that's exactly what happened. I was so supported. My business grew and it also stabilized and it just felt like really easy and really peaceful. And I had a lot of just content. I was content and it felt really good. And I feel like in the process of like slowing down, recovering after, Some really big things and allowing myself to just go through IVF.
I really feel like I found me again, and I'm so grateful for that, which leads me to 2025 right now, baby, I just turned 41 yesterday. So I'm officially my first 24 hours into being 41 [00:52:00] and the energy of this year. I mean, , we'll come back and we'll reflect on next year, but right now. If I was going to name this year, I would name it.
Nothing can fucking stop me. And I'm saying that not from this like manic place of like, this year's going to be so good, I've got to hustle. It's this really grounded, like, I know me, I've got me, nothing can fucking stop me. If I reflect back, which we've just done over the last decade of my life, I have been knocked down so many times and I've gotten back up like I've experienced so much, like nothing can stop me.
No one, nothing. The only person that can stop me is me and I'm constantly working on myself. I'm always up leveling myself. I'm always calling myself out, calling myself forward. I feel ready. I feel ready for whatever the last decade has taught me, the lessons that I've gone through, the lessons that I've repeated.
I just feel [00:53:00] ready. I feel like the last decade has stripped me of old identities. It's stripped me of my ego and I've had to survive a lot of heartbreak, a lot of loss, a lot of lack, a lot of scarcity. And in surviving, All of that I'm fucking thriving and I'm thriving even when I'm not thriving. ?
Like I'm strong, I'm resilient, nothing or no one can stop me now. And the last decade has shown me that. And so as I sit here recording this episode, the day after my 41st birthday, I know that this is it. Let's fucking go, right? This next decade for me, this next year, this next decade is about greatness, about growth and about wild fucking success from a really grounded place of I've got me, I trust me and I back myself.
Let's fucking go. when I reflect on the last decade, I've lost myself and I've found myself. I now know [00:54:00] that nothing can happen in this next decade that can stop me. I'm ready for whatever comes my way, the good, the bad, the great, the ugly, the heartbreaking, the hard, the difficult. The amazing, the easy, I'm ready for it all, and that makes me unstoppable.
And so that's why I'm gonna declare this next year, the year, that nothing could stop me. Happy fucking birthday to me, and if you're listening and you're a Pisces girly like me, happy birthday month! Thank you so much for listening to my, you know, birthday manifesto, a decade worth of lessons in under an hour.
I hope you guys have the best day now next week's episode. Oh my God. I'm so excited. I'm interviewing one of my breakthrough clients. Tori, her fucking story. Oh my God. It's going to give you goosebumps from your head to your toes. She is such a powerhouse. She's overcome so much. I cannot [00:55:00] wait for her to share her story about where she was before breakthrough, where she is now after she's about six months post breakthrough.
And she is thriving. And I cannot wait for you to hear her story. I'll see you guys next episode. [00:56:00]
